vulnerABILITY

For as long as I can remember, the word vulnerability went right up there with the list of 4 letter words my mom told me never to say. It was literally a bad word to me. I deferred formulating my opinion until after seeking the wise counsel of my old faithful friends Merriam-Webster, and let me tell you, they did not help. They described vulnerability as being:

capable of being physically or emotionally wounded; open to attack or damage

The word even originates the Latin word that means, to wound. So that sealed the deal for me. Being vulnerable was the equivalent to opening myself up to being wounded and who in their right mind would want that? 

So life went on, but as an adult (especially as a therapist) numerous people tried to convince me that there was a problem with the walls and barriers that I had up blocking people from getting to know the real me. However, in my mind the thought of opening myself up to attack was absurd. Then, about 6 months ago I met a woman who made me change my mind...

Turn with me in your Bibles to Mark 14, verses 3-9.

(FYI this story is also told in Matthew 26:6-13 and John 12:1-11 just in case you need other references.)

And it reads:

Mark 14:3-9

New International Version (NIV)

 3 While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.

 4 Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, “Why this waste of perfume? 5 It could have been sold for more than a year’s wages[a] and the money given to the poor.” And they rebuked her harshly.

   6 “Leave her alone,” said Jesus. “Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 7 The poor you will always have with you,[b] and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. 8 She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. 9 Truly I tell you, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”

John 12:1-8

New International Version (NIV)

John 12

Jesus Anointed at Bethany

 1 Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. 2 Here a dinner was given in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. 3 Then Mary took about a pint[a]of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. 4 But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, 5 “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.[b]” 6 He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.

   7 “Leave her alone,” Jesus replied. “It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. 8 You will always have the poor among you,[c] but you will not always have me.”

Now I've heard this scripture referenced plenty of times before and I had even read it several times myself but about 6 months ago I was doing an assignment for my Ministers in Training class and I ran across it again but this time was different. (Thank God for revelation.) So in this passage is Mary, Lazarus's sister, anoints Jesus with oil. I put two passages here because both are relevant. Okay, so here was my thought process while reading this passage...

So basically Jesus is reclined, chilling at the table eating and Mary walks up on Him with this alabaster box full of perfume. She then proceeds to anoint his feet (according to John 12) with the perfume and to wipe his feet with her hair.

1.   This perfume was expensive. It was worth a year's wages!!! So I thought about it and I reasoned, Well it is Jesus. I can understand spending a year's wages on Him.

2.   

















Then, she wiped his feet with her hair. Now this is where it got me. Real talk, I don't care if you're White, Black, Latino, Asian, Armenian, whatever, hair is crucial! Women care about their hair, whether it's short, long, nappy, curly, or fine so the fact that she was willing to let down her hair to wipe His feet with it was beyond my comprehension for a second because, "This hair right here! This hair right here!!!" (Kat Williams voice). My first thoughts were, No sir! First of all, I don't do feet. Second of all I'm messing up my hair to wipe perfume on this dude's feet. Oh uh uh! (in my ghetto voice.) Don't judge me. Lol.)










True story, last week I had to spend the night at the doctor's office in order to do a sleep study (don't ask no questions.) Now I knew that they had to attach me to all these wires and everything so that they could monitor me while I was sleeping but it wasn't until the technician started attaching the wires to my face that I realized, Hold on. This lady is talking about attaching wires to my head. What about my hair!?! That's when the questions started flying out of my mouth. "Um, ma'am, are these things going to pull my hair out?" The answer was no, okay, sigh of relief, next question. "Ma'am I see you applying cream before you attach the wires, does this mean that I will have to wash my hair to get this stuff out?" That's when she reluctantly told me, "Um yes, you will have to wash your hair to get it out." Now let her have told me that the day after a hair appointment, I would have shut the entire sleep study down! Ain't no way I was going to mess up my hair just so they could run some tests! (Fortunately for her I was planning to get my hair done in the next two days so I went on and did the tests. Lol.) That story just goes to show how much women care about their hair (well this woman anyway). I was willing to postpone the sleep study it meant keeping my hair looking right. (Remember, don't judge me. I know I'm not the only one who would have done that.) :-)

Now I'm sure back in the day Mary wasn't making appointments to have her hair washed and flat ironed but this act that she did was significant in a different way. Women back then did not even unbind their hair in public. So the fact that she even took down her hair in public opened her up to being ridiculed, opened her up to being attacked, made her vulnerable. 

So wait. In order for Mary to enter into a deeper level of worship she had to make herself vulnerable? 

Yes. Mary did something that opened her up to being attacked and attack they did. Judas Iscariot and his two-faced self was the first to start hating. "Why didn't you sell this perfume and give the money to the poor?" Then the others started hating talking about what a waste it was to use the perfume for that purpose. Think about what that did to Mary emotionally. Here she was thinking that she was doing a good thing for Jesus and immediately she got talked about for doing so. Oh, but then Jesus came into the conversation! "Leave her alone."

That just reminds me of seeing kids on the playground and a group of kids is teasing one kid but then another big kid steps in and defends the kid that is being teased. Jesus stepped in to Mary's defense and immediately all the hating ceased. Jesus even went on to say that Mary would forever be remembered for what she did and that people would know of her everywhere the gospel is preached throughout the world. Wow! Do you think that Mary felt making herself vulnerable was worth it?

It was from seeing Mary in that story that I begin to get a new understanding of the concept of vulnerability. Yes, being vulnerable means that I may get physically or emotionally hurt and yes it means that I may be opening myself up to attack but in some instances vulnerability is necessary. In order for Mary to go deeper in worship, vulnerability was necessary. In life today, in order for us to go deeper in our relationships with others, vulnerability is necessary. You can't let somebody get to know you if you have walls up. Sometimes it's necessary to take those walls down. In order for you to take the next step in that business venture God has placed inside of you vulnerability is necessary. Look at the celebrities of today. While millions may love them and the work that they do, there are plenty of people who are hating and while it may not be true for many of them, Jesus has your back!!! People WILL hate when you begin to step into the things God has called you to do but don't worry, God has the last word and He will step in, defend you, and then make your name great for the beautiful things that you did. 

So, friends, my hope today is that you are able to change your mind about the negative stigma that is usually associated with vulnerability. I am not saying that you should open yourself up to anybody and everything, please use wisdom and pray for discernment. I'm just saying that sometimes vulnerability is necessary and that if you are willing to make yourself vulnerable for the purpose of serving the Lord, God will not only defend you but He will reward you. 

I love you guys and I hope y’all have been blessed by this. :-)