"How can I love somebody else, if I can't love myself enough to know, when it's time, time to let go? All I really want, is to be happy, and to find a love that's mine, it would be so sweet."
That's about as far as I got before I got winded and remembered that I have really severe asthma and that I can't be hopping up and singing like that, LOL. Needless to say, I sat my happy self down and in all of my excitement actually stopped to take time to listen to the words. Homegirl was "killing me softly." (If you haven't noticed by now I often speak in songs. Stay with me.)
I ask for a sign from the sweet Lord above
I know the answer is in front of me
But when you think you're in love
You only see what you want to see
And all I see is me for you
And you for me
When she got back to the chorus I wanted to jump back up and start dancing again but I thought better of it and remained seated and kept listening.
I just wanna be so, so, happy
But the answer lies in me
I do believe
That we can be happy
I said I wanna be happy, yeah
In my mind I was thinking, "You ain't the only one Mary. You ain't the only one." I was still crunk off the song when Diddy came up on stage, accepted his award, and shared the story of how his mother worked several jobs in order to be able to take care of her family. It was such an inspirational story and one that yielded a happy ending. It was the story of the personal sacrifice of a mother that led to her raising a son who became an extremely successful and wealthy entrepreneur.
I think the story means even more to me on today, Ash Wednesday. A day when millions of people around the world begin their first day of Lent and dedicate the next 40 days to fasting, praying, and giving alms in order to recognize the personal sacrifice that Jesus made when He gave his life for us on the cross. Many of these people believe that by praying more, giving to others, and practicing self denial that they can establish a closer relationship with God. I am in shock at the lengths that some of my friends are going in order to deny themselves and grow closer to Jesus. One of my friends who lives and breathes music actually gave up music for Lent. She gave her iPod and earphones to close friends for safe keeping and even took the radio out of her car. I, being a music lover myself, can appreciate how significant a sacrifice that is for her, however I can also recognize that that no matter what sacrifice we make, no matter how personal, no matter how big, no matter how small, our sacrifices can never compare to the sacrifice that He made for us.
In life everyone has to make sacrifices, whether it be for a family member, for one's career, or even for one's health. Many times we look at the word "sacrifice" in a negative light because it typically requires giving something up, but we often fail to see by losing something what we gain. I'm sure Janice Combs lost a lot of sleep and quality time that she could have spent with her children by working two jobs. Also, the Bible* talks about how Jesus prayed to God and asked if it were possible that the suffering and separation from God that He was experiencing be taken away from Him before He finally agreed to do God's will. Now in no way am I trying to compare the two sacrifices because that would be ludicrous but if I could I would ask each of them (in reference to the sacrifice they made), "Was it worth it?"
When one considers the benefits of sacrifice one can begin to look at the whole concept of personal sacrifice in a different light. The Bible,** more than once, talks about how we should consider it joy and rejoice whenever we have trials because when our faith is tested we develop perseverance and when we persevere we become mature and complete, so that we are not lacking anything and we develop character and hope.
So how do we achieve that happiness Mary is singing about? She tells us in her song. She tells us that the answer lies in us. We can no longer be blind when the answer we long for is right in front of us. We have to love ourselves enough to know when we need to let certain people and/or things go. We also have to change our minds about the way we think when it comes to sacrificing because we know that when we sacrifice the right things for the right reasons the benefits outweigh the risks. Then, and only then, can we truly be happy in spite of whatever may be going on around us. So now since I'm asking myself this question I figure I might as well ask you too, What are you willing to sacrifice?
For those who have never heard the song before or just never realized she was speaking The Truth:
*Matthew 26:39
**James 1:2-4, Romans 5:3-5
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